Relationship & Couples Counseling in Austin, TX
Takeaway: All relationships are bound to hit bumps in the road. However, you don’t have to wait for things to get rough to strengthen your bond. Working with an Austin marriage counselor can help you and your partner deepen your connection–and prevent future issues.
You've been struggling in your relationship and are considering seeking support through couples counseling. Although daunting at first, seeking support through a couples therapist when you're feel stuck can provide you the opportunity to open up communication. Through building a therapeutic alliance with your couples counselor, you can effectively develop skills to explore your relationship further and feel safe to acknowledge any concerns. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be in crisis or on the verge of divorce to finally acknowledge your mental health challenges. If you are struggling to resolve your relationship issues, can't figure out how to communicate your thoughts and feelings, are living in a cycle of conflict, or finding it difficult to maneuver through life transitions with your partner, I can provide you guidance through couples counseling.
There are many variables to the effectiveness of couples counseling. According to the American Psychological Association, on average, about 75% of couples will find healing through couples counseling. There are numerous models that can be used for treating relational issues. Some popular models include Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman method, and Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). The models used in session are dependent on the training obtained by your couples therapist. Most importantly, counseling for your partnership or marriage can be deeply valuable when focus, intention, and a desire to create change is present.
I'll discuss some common hesitancies around couples counseling. I'll also discuss my approach, the methods I utilize for couples and marriage counseling, and the important issues I support clients with.
You'll discover how relationships grow through open communication, intentional implementation of skills, and mutual respect.
See how couples therapy in Austin can help your relationship move forward and also help you live your best life.
Does this sound like you?
Deciding to repair your relationship can be tough. Life gets stressful, usually in more ways than one, and your relationship takes a hit. You're not seeing eye to eye on things and conflict is on the rise. This ultimately further intensifies the stress, and the stress creates anxiety. In times like these, it's important to explore your options and find a therapist that's right for you. If you're feeling hesitant about taking the next step, you're not alone. Many worry what their significant other will say about them, concerned they'll be judged for their complaints, problems, and feelings and are fearful seeking professional guidance will fail.
These confusing thoughts are all understandable. On one hand, it is important to consider various angles before making a decision of this nature. On the other hand, it is potentially more important to consider how not trying couples counseling may cost you your relationship. You don't have to wonder what may be. Couples therapists in Austin are here to help.
I’m Alissa MartineZ, LPC, and I’m here to help.
Credentials: Licensed Professional Counselor
License number: Texas #81826
Education: Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of Texas at San Antonio.
Years in Practice: 5
Modalities Used: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Attachment-based Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, Motivational Interviewing
Google Rating: 5.0/5.0 stars
Accepting help can be deeply conflicting for many couples and individuals. Finding the right therapist for your relational needs can alleviate these concerns and make space for you and your partner to feel comfortable to reveal your issues.
My name is Alissa Martinez. I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) specializing in anxiety, self-esteem, and relationships in Austin, TX. Over the years, I have found the process of supporting couples to be gratifying for a variety of reasons. I enjoy hearing the love stories shared by new clients, the memories that partners share about what drew them to one another, and the highlights of the life they've shared together. Most importantly, I value the opportunity I'm offered to help new couples obtain the skills needed to move forward and build a healthy relationship that makes life together worth pursuing.
In my clinical work as a therapist, I've spent the last few years working for nonprofit organizations and group practices that have provided me with a space to expand my knowledge and skillset, to understand how to work with adults in complex family dynamics and life circumstances, including trauma due to environmental difficulties, life transitions, and barriers in communication. It has been pivotal in growing the desire I have to work with individuals and couples seeking support in their relationships in Austin.
My approach to marriage counseling in Austin
There is no "right" or "wrong" approach to marriage counseling. Therefore, couples counselors in Austin may employ different approaches when working with new clients through relational issues. It's helpful to take note of the approaches your potential counselor may intend to use. This can be useful to narrow what you're looking for as you prepare to make a decision.
We can all understand the concept of marriage on paper. However, each marriage holds a combination of traits that are unique to you and your spouse. To be a positive member of support to new clients, I focus on taking an approach that is integrative. This allows me to utilize parts of a select few modalities I find to be most effective for your relational traits and challenges as a couple. Where one individual may be dealing with anxiety or depression, the other may be dealing with grief and loss or the trauma of their past or present. In a situation like this, it's clear that the kind of resolution needed for each person will look different.
As a couples counselor, I will take the time to make space for, and acknowledge, the difficulties that come with each individual struggle. I will also assist in providing an understanding for how these issues have blended, caused emotional separation, and how it can be resolved with intention.
Given the complex and serious nature of supporting couples through very difficult relational transitions, I prioritize creating a space that is a balance between productive, relaxed and, on occasion, humorous. I find this to be both effective and critical to the process of creating change in the therapeutic space. Couples can find it difficult to open up and share their absolute truth to someone they hold a deep, intimate connection with (their spouse) and someone they know simply from the writings of their website (their therapist). I encourage you to join the therapeutic space as the truest forms of yourselves in an effort to build rapport as your personal growth team.
Methods I use in my Austin couples counseling practice
Along with the different approaches, couples counselors will utilize methods or modalities that assist in creating a structure for how couples can work through various types of difficulties. Knowing and having a general understanding of these methods can also help in the process of finding a couples counselor. In addition, understanding the methods better equip you for what to expect as you move through the repair process.
Gottman Method
One of my favorite methods to use, this modality and structure was developed by Drs. John Gottman and Julie Gottman, two incredible psychologists, researchers, and a married couple. The beauty behind the Gottman Method comes from the very unique research the Gottmans completed on couples over several years. According to this method, there are four kinds of negative interactions that can be lethal to a relationship. They call these the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse- criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage work, authors Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver say, "the four horsemen alone predicts divorce with an 82 percent accuracy."
With such consistent and groundbreaking research, this modality is incredibly beneficial in allowing me to support individuals and couples in challenging the behaviors that stem from deep-rooted problems. More times than not, these behaviors are solvable rather than unsolvable.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Another evidence-based modality I frequently use for couples work is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). To get a basic understanding of what this modality is, we can start with its name! The Emotionally Focused Therapy model focuses on the emotional response system of both individuals, including the regulation of emotions.
More specifically, EFT is modeled around attachment theory. In using EFT, we'll learn about the development of your emotional connections, such as the parent-child relationship and how bonds were and are presently formed for you. This will lend a lot to telling the story of who each of you are, the kind of impact those experiences have had in the development of your adult identities, and where there are opportunities to create meaningful change in how you communicate with one another. Diving into these experiences will teach the both of you how to create connections that are supportive, safe, and secure.
Who I help as an Austin relationship therapist
As a relationship therapist, I have spent valuable thought and time on the psychology of the various relationships we develop as humans, including those with our families, friends, and intimate partners. Having this distinct lens to work from, I find it deeply important to share this wealth of knowledge with clients looking to create change in their daily lives.
communication skills
You're not alone in this. Unfortunately, growing up, most individuals are not taught enough about the basics of communication skills. Interestingly, although seeking help for this tends to be one of the top reasons for relationship breakups and divorce, it is a highly resolvable issue when it is targeted with mutual intention and consistency.
conflict resolution
Although the presence of conflict is relatively normal, as it follows the need for communication skills, we're typically also not well-versed enough about the art of resolving a conflict. Ultimately, we may find ourselves in a cycle that too often feels unbreakable. However, there is hope for learning to fight fairly (yes, it's a thing).
boundary setting
We tend to ignore or miss the signs that our boundaries are not being respected and/or that we are not respecting someone else's boundaries. Taking note of the barriers to setting boundaries effectively and, in turn, breaking down those barriers will help you get to a place that feels both safe and comfortable.
attachment issues
Difficulties with attachment have a tendency of hanging out in the background. Over time, these issues may begin to show and cause problems. As attachment issues often begin in childhood, it's important to be patient, as well as vigilant of the long term impact these issues can have on a person's mental health when ignored.
life transitions
As we develop as adults, we will continually experience a series of life transitions, both short term and long term. This can include a new job, loss, and moving away. Preparing for marriage with your significant other, for example, is also important. You might consider premarital counseling to be a great option for your relationship as you venture into this new phase of life.
trauma
Experiencing trauma prior to or while in a relationship can present a variety of difficulties. Knowing the triggers can help alleviate the stress of how the trauma is impacting your daily lives. Some examples of trauma include grief and loss, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and drug abuse.
emotional distance
Emotional distance sometimes has a way of taking our breath away. This can be as a result of a lot of things- stress, anxiety, depression, or perhaps a major life transition. Regardless, the important thing is to acknowledge that the emotional distance exists in your relationship and that repair is needed.
FAQ’s about couples therapy in Austin, TX
Seeking professional support to work through relational issues is a subject that draws a lot of curiosity and a wide scale of unique opinions. Although I strongly believe in the art of what counseling has to offer each individual's life, it is always important to feel comfortable with how, who, what, and when you allow someone to enter the space of your relationship.
If you're still feeling hesitant, interested in the intricacies of couples work, or unsure about what it has to offer, read on as I address some common questions about couples counseling.
If you have questions or doubts, reach out to me directly to learn more about the services I offer.
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Per the American Psychological Association, couples counseling shows an effectiveness rate of about 75% when Emotionally Focused Therapy is used for treatment. This statistic speaks volumes about the importance of emotionally focused therapy work, especially when taking into consideration the fact that communication issues often stem from emotion-related difficulties.
Many therapists find it difficult to guarantee the outcome of couples services. This is because it is well understood in the field of psychotherapy that the effectiveness of therapy is dependent on many factors, including consistency in attendance of the therapy sessions, at what point you seek therapy (too often, couples wait until they're in crisis), follow-through with practicing the coping strategies and language, and issues related to the safety of each individual (i.e. the presence of abuse, violence, other crimes, etc.).
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Couples will often seek therapy for issues such as communication barriers, difficulty building trust, toxic behaviors, emotional distance, cheating, anger issues, and boundary setting, to name a few.
It is a common and unfortunate misconception that your relational problems have to be "bad enough" to warrant marriage counseling. Many couples don't realize this until it's too late. Often, this is followed by another painful misconception that weighs heavy on those who hear it and also really need it: that couples therapy doesn't actually work. Sadly, these are the leading reasons for why couples don't start therapy until they are in crisis. In reality, what is most important about making this decision is to consider how your relational problems are making you feel, and not whether or not they are "bad enough". So, don't wait!
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Marriage counseling can be a wonderful resource in so many ways, starting with finding a therapist that fits the needs of your relationship. If you don't get it right the first time, that is OK. This happens. Don't let that discourage you! Here are a few things to keep an eye out for as you search for or begin meeting with a marriage counselor in Austin:
-Previous experience or training in couples therapy and its treatment modalities
-They listen, attempts to understand, and are compassionate
-They are curious about the relational struggles that matter to you, even before your first session
-They have a master's or doctoral degree and a license to practice (LPC, LPC-Associate, LMFT, LMFT-A, LCSW)
Remember, no two couples are the same. If you are struggling, do not get caught up in the comparison game. Do your own research in Austin and find someone who is right for you!
Couples therapy in Austin, Texas can help you learn more about your partner–and yourself
It's ok to feel confused and uncertain about the prospect of couples therapy. Letting someone new into your private relational world can seem strange. As you move through your apprehensions, consider all the ways in which it may be exactly right for your relationship.
Approaching couples therapy in a way that is integrative can help you and your partner maneuver through the complex dynamics at play in your relationship. As you put forth effort to restore the quality of your connection to more effectively function as a couple, remember to consider how your individual issues may differ. Through an integrative approach that encompasses the benefits of both Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method, you can feel more assured in knowing that a unique focus will be placed on the individual factors affecting your relationship as a whole.
If you're hoping to get closer to living your best life, then prioritize your mental health now. Marriage counselors like myself are here to help. Reach out and schedule a free consultation and start the process for your first session with me.